


Fumbling Towards Ecstacy

by thisgirlsays22



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Top Eren Yeager, Touch-Starved, time skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 11:04:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12816156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisgirlsays22/pseuds/thisgirlsays22
Summary: Levi and Eren become the targets of the SC rumor mill. It's all Levi's fault, probably.





	Fumbling Towards Ecstacy

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [FYEF_2018](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FYEF_2018) collection. 



> Set during the manga time skip in chapter 91.

Armin was the one who broached the subject with Eren. He was not the only one to observe Levi's actions, but he was the only one with the courage and the will to mention them. “Have you noticed that Levi touches you a lot?” he asked. He tried to seem casual in his delivery, as though he hadn’t been burning to ask for weeks now.

Perhaps his query could have been better-timed. Eren paused, food halfway to his mouth. His brow furrowed, and he dropped his fork back down on the plate with a loud clank. It was partially the intrusiveness of the question and partially the smug way in which Armin presented it that raised Eren's hackles.

He levelled Armin with a steely gaze that was strikingly similar to Levi’s. “What are you talking about?”

“You two have gotten close over the years. Everyone knows that,” Armin added. “It’s just...it seems like it’s been different lately.”

“I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” Eren deflected. He wasn’t willing to deny Armin’s accusation point blank because there was more than a grain of truth to it, but he wasn't he willing to engage with it either. Eren was frightened that if anyone, including himself, dare name what was happening between him and Levi, it might evaporate before his eyes. The situation needed to be handled with the utmost care, and he couldn’t risk dragging it out for his friends’ scrutiny.

Now it was Armin’s turn to look frustrated. He’d expected the question to rattle Eren a bit more, to pave the way for more questions. “I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

“Did you bring me here just to ask me this?” Eren demanded, gesturing around the small restaurant. It was the first time they’d been back to Mitras in months and he’d had no reason to suspect there were sinister undertones to Armin’s invitation. “Were you put up to this?”

“There may have been some discussion about who you’d respond best to.”

He glared at Armin. “Don’t you all have better things to do than gossip?”

“Not really, no.”

In the years since they’d resealed Wall Maria, they’d made progress in beating back the Titans, and Eren still felt a surge of satisfaction each time they slayed another giant. The survival rates of the SC had improved tremendously with the combination of Hanji’s new weapons and Eren and Armin’s abilities. This had the unfortunate side-effect of breeding a cockier, more obnoxious group of soldiers who were prone to gossiping non-stop during their downtime. Eren was disappointed that his friends weren’t above it all; they should have known better.

Though Eren didn’t make a habit of lying, he had learned to artfully evade probing questions. If Armin had the answers already, he wouldn’t have followed this roundabout line of questioning. He would have gone in for the kill. It was clear that Eren could still hold his cards close to his chest.

The years he’d observed Levi helped Eren channel a calm exterior, though he was still boiling inside at being discussed privately by his friends. He had disliked being the object of so much scrutiny when his Titan powers had first been revealed, and he had even less of an appetite for it now.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Armin, but you should all find something new to talk about.” He picked up his fork and resumed eating.

Armin frowned, but he knew pushing would only convince Eren to dig his heels in more. He was certain he was onto something. During their last strategy session, Armin himself had spotted Levi briefly touching the small of Eren’s back as he walked past. He’d been skeptical when Jean insisted that something was going on, but once he noticed that touch, he couldn’t help but notice the others. Levi - and it was Levi who instigated it - was always brushing arms with Eren, standing close to him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

There was a reason Armin was Hanji’s most trusted strategist. He’d find out what was going on sooner or later.

 

 

Later that night, Levi was spread out on top of his desk, papers and pens and a mug of forgotten tea shoved to the side. His knees were on Eren’s shoulders, and the angle was amazing.

Eren’s view wasn’t so bad either. The way Levi’s head was thrown back, his arm hiding his face as he panted, had Eren doing his best not to come his brains out right then and there.

It was a struggle to keep his thrusts slow and even. He grasped Levi’s powerful thighs to steady himself, careful to hit the spot that made him moan helplessly. Thank fuck it had only taken Eren a few weeks to determine that this was a surefire way to unravel Levi. This had been painful, slow years in the making, and Eren didn’t want to waste time fumbling their way towards ecstasy.

The first time Eren had fucked him, neither of them had lasted long, and afterwards Levi had held Eren tight, like he was afraid to let go. It dawned on him then that perhaps the aching need in his own heart was reciprocated in full.

Eren closed his eyes and took a steadying breath.

“Hey,” Levi said, moving his arm away from his face. He rested a hand on Eren's cheek. “Look at me.”

He wasn’t going to be the only one so exposed. It had taken him a long time to realize that he wanted every part of Eren. When that realization slammed into him, there’d been no going back. It was clear in every stolen touch that Eren had executed a perfect kind of subterfuge. He’d tricked Levi into thinking he’d always see Eren as a boy who needed his protection, his guidance, but now here he was - a strong and capable man, a partner who could always be relied on to fight by Levi’s side.

Now when he looked at Levi with adoration in his eyes, it was a beautiful echo of what it had been when they’d first met. Levi was still his hero, but he’d earned that place in Eren’s heart now. Eren had seen his flaws and wanted him more for the man he was, not the man he’d first believed him to be.

When their eyes met, the strangled moan that Eren let out made Levi’s cock jerk. He gripped himself with his free hand to ease some of the sweet ache.

Eren snapped his eyes shut again. “I can’t. I’m barely holding on as it is.”

“I don’t mind,” Levi assured him, shifting slightly so they were fully flush. Sometimes he thought that if he could, he’d hold every part of Eren against himself at all hours of the day. He’d never been so intoxicated by someone. “I’m close too.”

Eren moved his hands from Levi’s hips to either side of his head on the desk, leaning forward until his face was hovering just above Levi’s, eyes inches apart.

“Oh, Eren,” was all he could manage. Levi pumped himself in time with Eren’s thrusts.

“Come for me,” Eren said, bending to kiss him feverishly, lust making them both sloppy and desperate. Levi bit down on Eren’s bottom lip as he came over his chest in hot bursts.

Eren wasn’t far behind. This was better than any of the fantasies he’d ever conjured up of Levi when he’d let his mind wander far enough down that path. It wasn’t even the way it felt to be inside of Levi that drove him so wild, it was the fact that he trusted Eren enough to let him close at all.   

“I need to finish up that paperwork,” Levi grumbled after they’d cleaned themselves up and started to dress. The dopey, wide-eyed look on Eren’s face was starting to make his chest hurt, and it was suddenly all a bit much for Levi. He was still adjusting.

“Can I stay tonight?” Eren asked. “I’ll leave early so no one sees me...if you want.”

 _Let me take care of you,_ Eren had said earlier, resting his hands on Levi’s shoulders as he tried to focus on his work. No one had ever taken care of Levi before, and he’d let Eren, had melted at his touch. Now they were out of the heat of the moment, and Levi felt bare enough for one night.

He shook his head, and Eren’s crestfallen face tugged at his heart.

“Another night,” he said, reaching out to smooth a hand through Eren’s hair. His chest tightened as he tried to find the words to explain himself, his contradictions, but they would not come.  

When Eren left, Levi let regret wash over him. Not for his choice, but because he feared he would never be able to give Eren enough. It wasn’t fair for him to take everything Eren was willing to offer, to touch him when he pleased, and then to need time to himself once he’d had enough.

 

 

Earlier that night, Eren considered confessing that the others might be catching on, but he didn’t want Levi to change anything about his behaviour. Tonight reminded him that whatever lay between them, it was fragile. 

It was hard to pinpoint when exactly the physical displays of affection begun in earnest - it was easy enough to recall the first time they’d fallen into bed together.

One night did stand out to Eren: he’d been surprised when Levi sat close to him on one of the couches in the common room, book in hand. There was a certain etiquette that was followed when you were sharing the space, and Levi broke it without explanation. He’d shifted even closer, absentmindedly lifted his hand and began playing with Eren’s hair as he read. Eren had frozen, still as a statue, fearing that any sudden movements might startle Levi out of his reverie, terrified that someone might walk into the room and break the spell.

Whenever they were in close proximity, Levi found a way to make contact with Eren - shoulders touching during strategy sessions, his knee tapping against Eren’s under the table in the canteen. Once, as they were passing in the corridor, Levi had wordlessly walked into Eren’s arms, which he'd wrapped around Levi instinctively.

When they pulled apart Levi’s face was inscrutable as ever and he offered no explanation. It was only after Levi stepped away from him that Eren spotted Mikasa over his shoulder, expression blank. She didn't say anything to Eren after Levi continued on his way, and he didn’t think she would be indiscreet enough to tell anyone what she'd seen.

But if someone else saw him leaving Levi's room...He fretted about this as he tossed and turned, alone in his bed. Was Levi worried that he might be spotted the next morning? Or had he done something else wrong to push Levi away? And if so, why wouldn’t Levi have just told him? Levi was awkward, kind and blunt as hell, which was precisely what Eren loved about him.

This wouldn’t do. He threw his covers off, pulled on the nearest clothes he could find and stormed out of his room. Now that he was a team leader, his room was on the same floor as the other higher ranking officers, including Levi’s. As he was rounding the corner to Levi’s corridor, he collided with someone.

“Levi?”

“No.”  

The darkness obscured Eren’s frown. “What are you doing here?”

“Probably the same as you.”

“Oh.” Eren flushed, pleased that they had the same idea.

At Levi’s insistence, they fetched a couple mugs of tea from the kitchen and returned to Eren’s room with them. They sat side by side on Eren’s bed, sipping their tea in silence. There was enough space between them that they weren’t touching, adding to Eren’s concern. If there was one thing he thought he could rely on, it was that Levi longed to touch him.

Eren mustered the courage to ask, “Why did you make me leave tonight? Was it something I did?”

“No. It’s me,” Levi said. He took another sip of his tea and sighed. “You can probably tell I don’t have much experience with this. The blind leading the blind and all that.”

“It’s okay,” Eren was quick to reply. He’d been embarrassed about his lack of experience before, and he was both relieved and terrified at the prospect that Levi might be as lost as he was.

Levi continued, “I’m really not any good at this. It’s probably going to be more trouble than it’s worth for you.”

“That’s not true!” Eren leapt to his feet, surprising Levi who suddenly felt as though they were back in that dungeon, meeting for the first time. He’d forgotten how ferocious Eren could be.

Eren raked a hand through his hair. “You’re worth all the trouble. I’ve been - I’ve wanted you for so long, and I’m not complaining about the trouble. I just want you to be clear with me the way you usually are.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Levi tried again. “Sometimes I just need to be alone.”

“That’s okay," Eren assured him. "But how can I tell when you need that?”

“I’ll tell you.”

“Right, but won’t that get annoying for you? Shouldn’t I just be able to tell?”

“I don’t expect you to read my mind.” God, they were going to be even worse at this than Levi thought. “I won’t get annoyed telling you when I need space. Just ask if you’re not sure.”

Eren smiled. “I can do that,” he said.

Levi was baffled by the smile, but didn’t complain.

“You need to tell me what you need. If you’re always trying to please me, you might never tell me if something’s wrong,” Levi told him. He hadn’t exactly been asking Eren’s permission to touch him all the time. Eren needed to know that his happiness mattered just as much as his own happiness. Probably more if Levi was being honest.

“I was coming to your room tonight to tell you I was upset,” Eren pointed out.

The corner of Levi’s lips quirked into a half-smile. “That’s true."

Eren grinned back at him. “See? It’s already going better than you thought.”  

Levi still had his doubts about whether he would truly be able to make Eren happy, but he kept them to himself. He’d let Eren wear that love-drunk smile for as long as he could.

Eren reached a hand out towards Levi, and hesitated. “Sorry. Can I now? Or are you still - ”

“Yeah,” he said, and Eren pulled him close so Levi’s face was buried in the crook of Eren’s neck. He breathed him in. He found he wanted to be together tonight after all.

 

 

A month passed, and Eren stopped waiting for Levi to change his mind, and started thinking he wouldn’t mind confirming the rumors now. If only Armin had better timing.

Without the constant nagging fear that this would all still dissipate before his eyes - which he would recognize was absurd if he’d stopped to fully consider this - Eren found he wanted to share his happiness with someone. Mikasa especially, he realized. He knew how private Levi was, though, and he didn’t want to betray his confidence.

Since their discussion, they hadn’t had any conversations of a similar intensity. Neither of them had a proclivity for that kind of talk. Levi was exhausted afterwards. Eren planned to bring it up eventually, after all he’d promised to be honest about what he wanted.

The issue resolved itself sooner than Eren anticipated.

During a routine expedition, a larger number of Titans than they’d seen in years appeared together, a herd. Levi and Eren, usually side-by-side in battle, were separated during the fight. In the end they won, and Eren was completely spent. He collapsed amid the corpses of the slaughtered Titans.  

“Eren!” Levi was on his shoulder in an instant, pulling him gently from his Titan’s neck. It wasn’t hard to detach him this time, no parts of him fused too tightly to the Titan, Levi noticed with relief. He didn’t know what level of gore would have stopped him from kissing Eren as he blinked up at him and smiled slowly.

Eren sank into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Levi’s neck, and it took him a minute to register what was happening, that everyone could see.

When he sat up he looked around, he found that his friends were indeed staring openly at them. Connie’s mouth was agape, Sasha was smiling, Mikasa and Jean rolled their eyes, and Armin...was doing his best to hide a smug smile.

“I knew it,” Amin said triumphantly.

Mikasa and Jean both turned to scowl at him. “No shit,” Mikasa said.

“Yeah.” Jean nodded. “Don’t act like this was some great revelation on your part, Armin. We all figured it out.”

“I’m pretty sure you called this first actually.” Mikasa smiled at Jean.

“Only because you spotted them hugging in the middle of the fucking hallway.” Jean laughed and nudged her.

“Hugging in the hallway? You never told me - ” Armin looked between the two of them. Could they be...no he would have picked up on it sooner.

Eren, finished kissing Levi and strong enough to walk on his own, approached them cautiously. “So uh…we're...” He’d intended to walk up to them with a let-them-talk attitude, and he was a little disappointed that no one looked all that shocked.

“We know,” Connie said. “No one cares. I’m just surprised he made a move on you in public. But the Captain’s a ballsy guy.”

“Yeah,” Sasha agreed, “I mean we’re happy for you, but it was only exciting when it was a mystery.”

Eren was grateful but still disappointed at how anticlimactic the revelation was. Then he heard shouting. “Months! Right under my nose?”

Hanji and Levi had gone to retrieve their horses, and Hanji was the most excited by Levi’s shocking, romantic display. They waved their hands and continued to marvel at how they could have possibly missed this. Levi was unperturbed, face impassive as Hanji detailed the paperwork that would now need to be completed. Then he met Eren’s eyes and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [ sugarplumsenpai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarplumsenpai/) for looking this one over and for answering all my last minute questions!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at [OmgLeviXEren](https://omglevixeren.tumblr.com/) if so inclined.
> 
> Yes, this fic shares a title with a Sarah McLachlan album/song. For that one person who's like, 'Wait just a minute!'
> 
> Feedback is so appreciated!


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